Assertiveness Exercise

Assertiveness Practice — Quick Directions - Fillable exercise is below.
Goal: say what you need clearly and calmly, without attacking or giving in. This takes 5–10 minutes.
1) Pick one situation and one goal
  • Situation: Who, what, where? (e.g., “Coworker adds tasks last-minute.”)
  • Goal / Boundary: What do you want to ask for, allow, or limit? (e.g., “Please check with me first; I can take one extra task per week.”)
2) Rate how you feel (before practice)
  • Anxiety (0–100) and Confidence (0–100). Be honest; these numbers help you see progress later.
3) Build your script (DESC / “I” statement)
  • D — Describe the facts only: what happened, when, where.
    “Yesterday and today, you added me to the calendar without asking.”
  • E — Express the impact/feeling (brief, no blame).
    “I felt stressed, and it disrupted my plans.”
  • S — Specify what you want (clear & doable).
    “Please check with me before adding shifts; I can take one extra per week.”
  • C — Consequence/benefit (optional).
    “That way I can plan reliably and do my best work.”
Template:
“When [describe], I feel [feeling/impact]. I would like [specific request]. [So that…/Because…]”
4) Check your delivery (body & voice)Tick the boxes you’ll use: neutral eye contact, calm volume, slower pace, upright posture, open hands, brief empathy (“I know you’re busy”), and the “broken record” skill: if the other person sidetracks you, calmly repeat your request once.
5) Rehearse for 60 seconds
Press Rehearse and speak your script out loud with steady tone and posture. If you stumble, keep going—aim for clear, not perfect.
6) Plan the conversation
  • When & where will you say this? (Pick a realistic time/place.)
  • If they push back, I will… (e.g., repeat the request once; offer one compromise; or schedule a follow-up.)
7) Re-rate (after practice)Rate Anxiety and Confidence again. A small change still counts. Note what helped and what to tweak.
8) Log it
​Click Log Entry (and Download CSV if you want a record). Revisit next time and aim for small improvements.

Tips that make it easier
  • Keep it short. One or two sentences beat a long speech.
  • Use “I” language. Describe your experience and request; avoid labels or mind-reading.
  • One ask at a time. Don’t solve everything in one talk.
  • Kind + firm. You can be respectful and still hold a boundary.
  • Practice like reps. Repeat with similar low-stakes situations to build the habit.
Common roadblocks & fixes
  • “I can’t find the words.” Start with the template, then trim extra details.
  • “I get angry or tearful.” Pause, breathe, and return to the script. It’s okay to ask for a break and come back.
  • “They argue or deflect.” Use the broken record once, then offer a clear next step (“Let’s check the schedule together tomorrow at 10”).
  • “I feel guilty.” Remember: requests aren’t demands. You’re sharing needs; they can respond, and you’ll decide your next step.

Example (work)“When the team assigns last-minute tasks after 4 pm, I feel overwhelmed and my other projects slip. I’d like 24 hours’ notice for non-urgent tasks. That way I can plan and deliver better.”
Example (personal)“When plans change without checking in, I feel stressed. I’d like a quick text before decisions are made, so I can say yes or no.”
Assertiveness Practice — Double Board Certified Counseling Services

Double Board Certified Counseling Services

Assertiveness Practice — CBT Worksheet

Double Board Certified Counseling Services — Assertiveness Practice

Fillable Script Builder 60-sec Rehearsal CSV & Print

Assertiveness Practice (CBT)

Identify a situation, build a clear “I” statement (DESC), rehearse for 60 seconds, and plan one small action. Re-rate anxiety and confidence after practice.

Client & Context

Step 1 — Situation & Goal
Step 2 — Script Builder (DESC / “I” Statement)
Step 3 — Delivery Checklist (Body & Voice)
Step 4 — Rehearsal
Step 5 — Plan the Conversation
Step 6 — Re-Rate & Reflect

Results

Anxiety change (↓ better)--
Confidence change (↑ better)--
Checklist items selected0

Practice Log

DateTimeSituationAsk/BoundaryAnx preAnx postΔConf preConf postΔPlan
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Tip: Keep scripts short, factual, and kind. If emotions spike, pause and return—assertiveness is a skill you can repeat and refine.