Signs of PTSD and Cognitive Dissonance

    ​At least over the last six months, I have experienced (could be experienced longer): 
    ​Flashbacks of positive memories, sometimes of the love-bombing phase or other times in which I perceived the relationship was good or he was loving, kind, fun. These memories are painful to experience.
    ​Trauma Replay of themes of collective memories of love-bombing that bring distress, fear, or a disturbing feeling of longing.
    ​Ruminating thoughts that can either begin or end with positive memories, they could flash back and forth between negative/distressing and positive recollections but produce confusion and cognitive dissonance. “I love him/I loathe him.”
    ​Nightmares of positive memories that others have confused as merely dreams.
    ​Avoidance of people, places, things that produce positive memories that are distressing and produce confusion and cognitive dissonance.
    ​Validation Seeking by telling the storyline to others for validation of my experience including the positive distressing memories even though it does not reduce my distressing feelings and sometimes others don’t understand or validate me.
    ​I have strongly held positive memories that I do not have difficulty remembering, but often cannot remember traumatic/bad memories.
    ​Sometimes I simultaneously have memories of both the bad and good memories at the same time producing confusion and cognitive dissonance.
    ​I have a loss of enjoyment in activities largely generated from avoiding the conflict between both good/bad memories and the confusion and cognitive dissonance that is created.