Congruence Worksheet

Double Board Certified Counseling Services, Inc. • Mark Zauss, LMHC, LPC, CCMHC, NBCC, BC-TMC, ADHD-CCSP, C-DBT, CCTP

Purpose

Congruence is the alignment between your inner experience (values, needs, feelings, beliefs) and your outward behavior (what you say/do/show). Use this worksheet to compare your Presenting Self with your Genuine Self, explore why differences exist, and set a clear plan to bring them closer.

Tip: Choose 1–2 life domains to start. Keep language concrete and behavior-focused.

Step 1 — Choose Your Focus Domain(s)

  • Work / School
  • Partner / Relationships
  • Family
  • Health
  • Community
  • Spirituality / Values
  • Finances
  • Creativity / Play
  • Digital / Social Media
  • Other: ________

Step 2 — Presenting Self

How I act/appear; what I show or avoid; social persona; tone; body language.

Step 3 — Genuine Self

Values, feelings, needs, beliefs I hold even if I don’t show them; what feels authentic.

Step 4 — Gap Analysis

What are the key differences between Presenting vs. Genuine Self? Why do they matter?

Difference Why it matters to me

Rate Congruence by Domain (0–10)

Domain Current (0–10) Target (0–10)
Work / School
Partner / Relationships
Family
Health
Community
Spirituality / Values
Finances
Creativity / Play
Digital / Social Media
Other

Step 5 — Why the Gap?

Check all that apply and add brief notes (evidence for/against staying this way).

Reasons

  • Fear of rejection / criticism
  • Safety concerns / privacy
  • Cultural or professional norms
  • Trauma history / conditioning
  • People-pleasing / perfectionism
  • Role requirements (work, family)
  • Stigma / judgment
  • Habit / autopilot
  • Other: ________

Notes

Step 6 — Values Anchor

List up to five core values to guide authentic choices.

Step 7 — Congruence SMART Goal

My Congruence Goal Statement

Step 8 — Micro-Steps & If–Then Plans

Situation Authentic Action Because (value)

Step 9 — Anticipated Obstacles & Coping Plan

Barrier Coping Strategy / Self-talk

Step 10 — Self-Compassion Statement

Daily Congruence Tracker (7 days)

Rate 0–10 and note one authentic action taken each day.

Date Congruence (0–10) Action Taken Notes

Client Signature      Date

Therapist Signature      Date