Therapist & Survivor Tool—Super Traits Charts Handout
©2018 The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction

The following information includes a description of Super Traits in relationship to the pathological narcissistic relationship.
Super traits are personality characteristics that make certain individuals more vulnerable to narcissistic abuse. These traits, while generally positive, can be exploited by narcissists to create a toxic dynamic.
What Are Super Traits? Dr. Sandra Brown, a specialist in narcissistic abuse, identified super traits in survivors of pathological relationships. These traits often include:
  1. High Empathy – Deep understanding and concern for others' feelings, making it easier for a narcissist to manipulate emotions.
  2. Loyalty & Commitment – A strong desire to maintain relationships, even in the face of mistreatment.
  3. Conscientiousness – A sense of duty and responsibility, leading to self-blame when things go wrong.
  4. Forgiving Nature – Readiness to give second (or multiple) chances, allowing a narcissist to cycle through abuse and "love bombing."
  5. High Resilience – Ability to endure hardship, making it harder to recognize when a relationship is damaging.
  6. Optimism & Hopefulness – Belief that people can change, which keeps survivors in the cycle of waiting for the narcissist to improve.
  7. Strong Work Ethic & Determination – A willingness to invest time and effort into making a toxic relationship "work."
How Super Traits Play Into Narcissistic Abuse A narcissist thrives on control and power. They seek partners who:
  • Tolerate mistreatment due to their forgiving and loyal nature.
  • Prioritize the narcissist's needs over their own.
  • Take responsibility for the relationship's problems, allowing the narcissist to avoid accountability.
This dynamic leads to trauma bonding, where the survivor feels an intense, unhealthy attachment despite the abuse.
Healing from Super Trait Exploitation
  • Recognizing the Patterns – Understanding how these traits were used against you.
  • Balancing Compassion with Boundaries – Keeping empathy but learning to say "no."
  • Shifting the Focus to Self-Worth – Prioritizing your own well-being instead of fixing others.
  • Therapy & Self-Work – Processing trauma and developing healthier relationship patterns.
Trait
Additional Descriptors
Straightforwardness
Up front, honest, confiding.
A Giving Nature
Altruistic, sacrificial nature in relationships, considerate, willing to compromise her interests for the sake of others, sentimental.
Cooperation
Prone to assisting rather than attacking, motivated by social harmony, reciprocal in relationships, helpful, values getting along with others, avoids conflict, sociable, motivated by helping, sharing, donating, volunteering.
Humbleness
Modest in her portrayal of herself, gentle, well-tempered, warm, approachable, likeable.
Empathy
Tender-minded, kind, generous, compassionate, peacemaker, forgiving.
Loyal
Allegiance to others, faithfulness, committed to obligations.​
Tolerance
Tolerant of differing opinions and behaviors.
Trust
Trusting of others and trustworthy, optimistic about human nature, sees others through who she is.
​Agreeableness Traits and Additional Descriptors (*Added by The Institute)
Facet of the Trait
Descriptors
Efficient
Competent, slightly perfectionistic, resourceful
Organized
Methodical, ordered
Dependable
Reliable, takes obligations and commitments seriously
Achievement-Striving
Ambitious, prone to workaholism, resourceful, efficient, aims to fulfill outside expectations, sets lofty goals, expends great effort – often to the detriment of other pursuits
Self-Disciplined
Devoted, controlled, not impulsive
Deliberate
Cautious, reflective, careful, persevering, diligent
​Super Trait vs. Codependency Charts
Agreeable/Cooperative Super Trait Descriptors
Codependency Symptom Descriptors
Reciprocal in relationships (given in return)
Caretaking, dependent
Willing to help without desire for selfish domination; concern for social harmony
Attempting to control
Straightforward, upfront
Poor communication, repression of feelings
Trusting and trustworthy
Lack of trust of self and others
Well-tempered, gentle​
Anger
Tolerant
Unmoderated feelings (intense, vacillating)
Self-confident
Caretaking (people pleasing)
Thoughtful to others
Attempting to control
Purposeful, goal-directed behavior
Poor communication
Controlled impulses
Anger/unmoderated feelings (vacillating)
Self-accepting
Low self-esteem
Resourceful, persevering
Can’t meet one’s own needs